By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
