I like to think it a success when the cops are called
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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