One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
