i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
