I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
