Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
