I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
