if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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