I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize