I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
