Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
