I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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