just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
