And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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