The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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