Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
