So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
