Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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