would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
