Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
