He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
