She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
