Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
