I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
