Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
