Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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