I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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