:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
