Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
