Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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