This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
