Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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