you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
