It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
