He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
