You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
