I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
