I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
