the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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