she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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