Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You pole danced in your parka.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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