Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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