it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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