Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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