i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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