So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
