You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
