I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
