her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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