there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize