Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
