do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
