We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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