New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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