Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
