I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
