please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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