My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
