At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
