Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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