As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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